I see you sweet mother even though others may not. I see the pride and joy in your eyes when you talk about your child or children are doing these days, the accomplishments that they've achieved or how big they're getting. I see the love in your eyes when you talk about how well your husband's job is going or what he's achieved in the community or at work. I see the smile on your face when you talk about your parents or siblings and what they're up to, where they're at, or what adventures they or their families may be doing. I see the pride and joy for those you live with, manage and take care of. However I also see something else sweet mother...
I see the hurt when that person who was asking about all those around you didn't ask you about you. Further confirming that your life isn't that grand despite being told that you have the most important job being a mother. I see the longing to be something other than a wife and a mom and the desire to be wild a free like you used to be before having to tone down to raise kids and attend to wifely duties. I see you just wanting someone to see you, give you a big hug and instead of telling you it will be okay (because you know it'll be okay) inviting you to come over without kids to just hang out, watch a movie, or just go out and have fun. I see the hidden tears of frustration over not knowing how to help a certain child or how to make life easier for other family members or husband. I see the guilty feeling because of a certain child (or children) who particularly trigger you and you clash with almost everyday. I see the defeat when you've had it with that child (or children) and you blow your top and overreact and see their little faces fill with fear from your blow up that you were trying so so hard to contain and work through while working through their struggles. I see the need to just talk and not feel judged or have solutions thrown at you, to be held, felt loved, and taken care of...even for just a little bit. I see you needing to be taken care of because you feel yourself slipping away mentally and you're trying so hard to hold on. I see you not asking for help because you don't want to be a burden to anybody. I see you needing your mom, sister, or friend. I see you needing to cry but can't because no one can know that you're struggling with motherhood right now. I see you trying not to compare yourself to everyone else on social media but subconsciously you do. I see the stay at home mom wanting to contribute financially. I see the working mother wondering if she's there enough for her kids. I see all the moms wondering if they're doing okay raising their kids. I see you sweet mother....I really do.
We as mom's love and support our husbands, kids, and other family members fiercely and wouldn't change anything to not have them. That said nobody tells us that when we become mothers we become invisible. Not on purpose by any means but it does happen. So much attention is given to a woman when she's pregnant then when the baby is born all of that attention is on the baby (along with other kids). It's not a bad thing because new babies and kids growing up doing cool things are fun to watch and talk about and us mom's love bragging about them but at the same time it hurts when we aren't asked about us too. Maybe not for all mom's but I know I'm not alone in this. I'm not a working mother either and I'm assuming here (hopefully I won't make an ass out of myself) but at the work place I'm sure that's what the majority of questions and talked about are too...husband, kids, and family. I could be wrong, please tell me if I am. It's when those as loved ones and friends around the mom can tell that they're struggling and maybe needing some attention themselves but they're putting on a happy face each day and we accept the happy face and keep going on with our lives is when mom's really can start deteriorating.
Don't be afraid (especially if you're a close friend or family) to give a mom some attention. Invite her over without kids, take her out, or just hang out with her. As general acquaintances ask a mom about HER...something simple asking about her likes or what she's up to...just a couple of questions is all. As mom's we don't say much and if some mom's are anything like me, have learned to just be silent and accept this is how life is now. See the mom behind the family...let's try to help mom's feel less invisible.
